Quickie

1. My sexy smart funny gay Politics teacher isn't gay 

2. I stepped in poop again

3. I'm leaving for Rome tomorrow morning so I won't post again until Sunday night or Monday so

4. Have a Good Shobbas

Love

Today I met a boy. 

I was in the office for student life handing in a form about volunteering and he was standing at the desk looking very confused. So I ask him "is everything okay" and he says "yes, why do you ask" and I say "You have a very confused look on your face". At this point he explained that he was trying to read through the flyer on the window but it was facing outside so everything was backwards and reading backwards is very difficult for him. Then he asked me why I was in the office, and I told him to set up an appointment to talk about volunteer work. When he asked me where I was volunteering I told him I'll tell him February 4th after the meeting.

Then he asked me what would happen if February 4th never happened. How strange it is that we know beyond doubt that February 4th will happen. But not really beyond doubt because the world could end. I told him its possible to have February 4th not occur but i hear suicide is painful. He rebutted that if he were to kill himself February 4th would still go on, making the only solution to kill the world, and the easiest way to do so would probably be to kill the president. But even if he was able to assassinate President Obama the secret service would most likely not let him push the big red button. Plus he only has a week.

30 boys, i already met 3 gay ones and 1 that talks to himself. The numbers are dwindling fast my friends.

typical day

heyy

Today I photoshopped my pics for Urban Architecture and Photography then went to campus for Italian where we learned this little ditty. I'll most likely be singing it in my head for weeks. When I got back Laura and I went to the supermarket where I purchased these slippers: 

as well as apples, bananas, crackers, garbage bags and milk.

Fail

This shobbas was pretty much exactly like the first one. We went to shul then Chabad for dinner and lunch. Then Saturday night we drank a little here and after went to a bar around the corner, Rex. It was still a little early and it was a much older Italian crowd, plus there were too many of us to get a table. We just hoovered around the back taking pictures until after about twenty minutes we leave to go to The Lions Den, an American bar. It was pretty much the same sitch so we took pictures and just went home still tipsy off the pregaming. a little sad, no? Fail numbers one and two. 

Today the school subsidized a day trip to Lucca but I didn't sign up in time and got closed out (Fail 0.5 because we had to sign up by last Friday, way before the weekend of fails.) So today I woke up late and decided to go see the Ponte Vecchio. Any one who knows me knows that I can hardly get around Teaneck and am completely directionally retarded. Having this in mind I tracked out a way to get there via googlemaps and highlighted it on my pocket map that I carry with me every where. It started off great but then I got SO lost and when I'd finally locate myself on the map I have this unique talent of ALWAYS walking in the opposite direction that I should be. (Like the time I was supposed to meet Simon for dinner at second avenue deli and called him an hour and a half later because I hit the East River and realized I was most likely walking in the wrong direction). The glass-half-empty type may consider this fail number three but as I said I'm really used to being lost and it was an abnormally beautiful day outside, I was in no rush, made it there eventually, and it was lovely. On the walk back I decided to not even try and use my map and just walked. Over the course of my adventure I walked through the chocolate fair at Santa Croce:

Piazza della Signora

A guy playing guitar, the high end shopping in Piazza della Repubblica, walked around the Uffizi museum, saw where Dante lived, and walked along the arno to the Ponte Vecchio.

When I got back with my renewed sense of independence and confidence I decided to tackle the laundry. We've been having trouble with the machine but on shobbas a guy came and showed us how to use it and it seemed simple enough. I put a few pairs of underwear and two pairs of jeans in, poured in the detergent and pressed start. It started making all the noises a working washing machine makes but nothing was happening. I figured its just different in Italy and walked away. An hour later it's making the same noises but its not spinning and there's no water. I stopped it but the door to the machine was locked so I couldn't take out my clothes. Enter fail three. 

A little later my suitemates come back and she tells me I put too much stuff in and I should take some out and try again. Same story. Fail four. 

Then Shayna tells me I should just wash it by hand because it's not good to have detergent just sitting on your clothing for this long.  I realize she's right and start hand washing all my clothes in the nasty laundry room sink. Everything was already stained. Fail Five.

As I was washing my jeans I realized my bus ticket was in the back pocket and that G-d works in mysterious ways. With the discovery of the ticket I realize that fails 3 through 5 were just so I can have one large success. Soon after I lost the ticket.

Origins of SoreOozer

Contrary to popular opinion I did not name my blog after a medical condition or symptom of a sexually transmitted illness. Nor did I realize that it can easily be misheard as ShortLoser.blogspot.com; an equally unflattering title. Since there is nothing eventful to report today I'm going share with you the origins of Sore Oozer.

The first Friday of the new year a bunch of us were playing Bananagrams in Yonaton's living room. Max had peeled and after reviewing his board we came to the consensus that "oozer" was not a valid word, causing Max to lose the game and be a Rotten Banana. To be spared the obvious humiliation that comes with such a title Max threw the tiniest of hissy fits. Amidst the tantrum Jessica Raab quietly said "come on Max, don't be a sore oozer". And it was funny.

It was a fateful night

Shabbat Shalom

It's just not sanitary.

Today I stepped in dog poop and smelled the rest of the day. This country has rules for Everything. National quite hours passed 11, no public drunkenness, can't buy knock offs, can't have the heat over 68 degrees, we couldn't know who our roommates were before moving in because of privacy laws and I couldn't pick up my Italian cell phone in America because of anti-terrorism laws, but people don't need to pick up their dog's poop off the street. When it rains here which is every single day the streets REAK of poop and pee. In new york when I see puddles I know it's probably pee but tell myself its the air-conditioner leaking. I like that. I'm comfortable with it. No one has air conditioners here. 

My first complaint.

pics

Thought I'd share some of my fave pics from the bus tour Sunday:

         The Duomo

  The Arno River

The Trainer from Free Willy is on House

Heyyyo

Today was numero due (Doo-Ay) of classes. I had Architecture and Urban Photography this morning which met in some small photography studio in the center of the city and the professor seems really nice. He invited the class to an art gallery opening but idk if I'll end up going because it's Friday night and I don't want to walk around here alone at night. Then I had Italian which wasn't too fun (but i did learn numbers which came in handy for my brilliant opening sentence.) After, I had my Topics in Modern Society-- my last core class-- it's mandatory and on a topic I'm not at all interested in but my professor is hysterical. He's this young gay guy who came in wearing tight jeans a black and white checkered shirt with a black vest over it and an obvious spray on tan. I was actually dying of laughter the entire class he'd randomly break into stand up comedy routines. When we were going over the syllabus he says "The behavior policy can be summed up as Dont Be a Douche Bag. I need all the attention I'm the youngest child of four and I guess my mom wiped my ass wrong". Just not what I'd expect to come out of a professors mouth. After class there was a huge inauguration party with big screens put up in a few buildings on campus it was really fun, super touching. Then I went to dinner with the Laura's and now I'm watching House. Later Gator.

Shobbas

Hey, 

So this was my first Shobbas here in Firenze. Friday night we went to the shul which was amazing I've never really seen anything like it. They had exactly a minyan and about eighteen women (we were ten of them). I think they said less prayers but everything except shmoneh esrei is said outloud so it was a pretty long service. After shul we went to Chabad down the block which actually wasn't too fun. I sat next to their eleven year old son who, when after the bowl of croutons was passed around, proceeded to stick is spoon in the bowl and eat it. After he was full he poured it on the table and just kept scooping it up and sprinkling it around. When he got bored of that he started grinding them under his fingernails and scraping it out with his teeth. The grand finale consisted of a Crouton Man (wearing a large hat I'd have to assume is black...) Then we came back home and played banagrams and just hung out for a while. Today I slept in and went back to Chabad for lunch. I met a girl there who moved to Florence from LA a few months ago and she was pretty interesting. I also learned that they use pig fat in just about everything here including bread and gelato so there goes carefree eating out. Tonight I'm going out for the first time here so stay tuned. Bueno Suerte mi amici

Took a While BUT

Here's the video of my apartment

Hey,

I took a video tour of my apartment and its been uploading for about 17 hours by now but I'm not ready to give it up yet. This whole week we had orientation sessions on campus so I haven't really had too much time to explore. Yesterday though I was determined to pick up my cell phone and exchange my dollars for euros so Schneebaum, Mara, some other girl and I walked from campus to the center of Florence which must have been an hour and a half walk. When we finally got to the center we saw this small building with a dome on top and figured it was the Duomo and started staring and taking pictures. Mara and Laura seemed to be hiding disappointment at it's size and beauty and kept looking for something majestic about it. Turns out we were a block from the Duomo and were actually looking at the Medici family tomb. I went back to the center this afternoon and was actually awestruck by the real Duomo. It's enormous and gorgeous is hard not to just stop and gawk but we've been told multiple times at the orientation sessions that the pick pocketers LOVE the gawkers so we kept walking. 

Have a great shobbas!

Hey SoreOozer fans!! I got to Florence yesterday afternoon, after 7 hours of traveling.. not too fun. It was a group flight though so I met a lot people who all seem very nice. out of the 400 people in the program I'm pretty sure than only 25 of them are male. My apartment is drop dead gorgeous, expect an uploaded virtual tour in the future. There are 14 girls living there so far we get along great. I'm waiting for people to stop being nice and start being real. We don't have internet set up yet so I won't be able to post until that gets settled (I'm in a computer lab right now). It's cold and rainy but so beautiful here. Miss you all!!! Ciao

I find the adult content warning at the beginning funny. Let me know if it gets annoying. Arrivederci!