THE FUN HAS ARRIVED

....and her name is Jraab

yaaaaay

Riddle I heard at Chabad

There's a blind man with a terminal illness. He has 4 pills in his hand: two red and two blue. He must take one of each color and if he takes two of the same color he immediately dies. How can he take his mediation and be 100% confident that he has taken the correct combination?

Florentina!

There is a big chance that this week was the worst of my life. Visa thought every charge I made was fraudulent and kept canceling my card and telling us it was fixed when it wasn't. Then I lost my bus ticket the ONE TIME a guy came on the bus to check them and kicked me off the bus and made me pay him 45 Euro which he undoubtably pocketed, leaving me with no cash and no credit card in a foreign country. Other events which i rather not relive include getting unfixably lost and pummeling a tiny asian woman. 

So when I realized that the Florentina soccer game that I signed up to go to a few weeks back was this Thursday night I immediately began thinking about what could go wrong. On my way back from class I was walking with Leora and kept hearing spurts of men screaming. She heard nothing and looked at me like i needed to be institutionalized. When we got closer to the piazza we live in she started hearing it to and then suddenly there were at least 50 men drunk of their asses holding various beer bottles at 4 in the afternoon chanting in Italian (maybe Dutch?). After staring in confusion we realized that they were all gathering before the game. At 7 when we met the group at the bus stop there were TONS of Amsterdam fans (the opposing team) singing and chanting and police were everywhere. They have special busses just for the opposing team because if the two fans were to mix there would definitely be blood so all these men packed on to a double bus and started chanting and swinging from side to side trying to tip it over. after a few seconds some police men came over to which the fans responded by being louder and shook more violently. When the bus pulled out it was preceded and followed by two cop cars, an ambulance, and a helicopter.

What could go wrong?

so eventually we made it to the stadium and the two sets of fans were separated by glass walls with blades on top to keep them apart. The game wasn't half as exciting as the bus stop was and it was FREEZING outside but it was a lot fun.

Maybe my luck has changed? I'll try and charge something today. I'm going to Milan on Sunday and if I can't shop there may be tears. 

Cinque Terr-ific!

A couple weeks ago I realized I was getting really fat really fast, and decided I need to start going to the gym. The only (ha?) problem with this was that when I was packing to come here I couldn't find my other sneaker so I figured my converse could fulfill my sneaker requirement. False. Whenever i wear them they kill my feet and then my left knee hurts for weeks, so I trekked over to foot locker to pick out some fashionable new kicks. When I walk in I'm ushered to the "bambini" section and stare at the four pairs of shoes offered to me for about 20 minutes. After heavy contemplation I choose a pair of black bedazzled pumas. When I tried them on they were actually a little snug and the man upgraded me to real sizes with a much wider selection.  After about another half hour I pick out a pair of black orthopedic-looking nikes with the swish outlined in gold. They were a little big but I was so antsy from being in there for so long I just bought them and left. Needless to say I never quite made it to the gym and only wore them to do lunges across my former apartment and on a class trip to the Bobli Gardens.

This weekend Laura and I went to the Cinque Terre "five lands" on the Italian Riviera. Cinque Terre consists of Monterosso, Vernazza, Corniglia, Manarola, and Riomaggiore. The towns all looked the same with clusters of colorful houses on the hills and miles of cultivated famlands. The water was the bluest color I have ever seen. Since it was the off season absolutely everything was closed except all but one hiking trail, so i strapped on them orthos and never took em off. The train was about a 2 and a half hour ride and we arrived at Manarola where we staying at about 11am. We put down our stuff at the hotel and walked down the "via dell Amore"-- Lovers Walk-- to Riomaggiore. After our romantic stroll we sat by the marina for a while and then walked "up" since it was the only direction other than back from where we came. When we reached the top of two huge hills we found ourselves in the middle of no where, with nothing but a tourist information stand. We went in and asked the woman there what we should do. She replied that everything is closed but there is a church 45 minutes away that is very beautiful. 

45 minutes my newly tight butt.

 It took us a little over an hour considering the trail was completely vertical and when we got there the church was closed. It was a nice hike though and the view was beautiful. This is the triangle looking one on the left on the map. From there we backtracked the same way and went back to the hotel to get ready for Shobbas. Friday night we ate the deli sandwiches and salads we brought in the breakfast room of the hotel and then sat for a few hours drinking wine and talking. We went to sleep early and woke up late the next morning, ate lunch at around 11 in the room then headed off for another hike. 

This hike was a tad trickier because there was no eruv meaning we had map or water. The shobbas hikes are the long line in the middle of the map. For the first hike we started from Manarola and hiked up the mountain and through a village to another town called Volastra. Since we had no water and since I am an avid fan of the Discovery Channel, I granted myself capable of deeming a stream potable or not, so when we found a nice flowing river we broke from the trail and sat and drank. It was heavenly and as of now we are still in full health. At another point on the hike to Volastra we had to stop and ask for directions when we couldn't find the trail marker. We met this man who was a captain in the Italian Navy and sailed all around the United States and now lives in arguably the most beautiful place in the world. From Volastra the next hike was pretty level and we hiked for another hour (and a half?) each way. It was breathtaking; it kills me that I didn't have my camera. When we got back to Volastra we were sitting on a bench talking about which one of us was thirstier and describing the various tastes in our mouths when out of no where laura points to a spigot by the wall and screamed "Water!". We ran to it and took turns sticking our head under it while people stared at us like we were on crack. At one point the bus that bypassed the first hike pulled up next to us full of people and nothing stopped us from drinking that gdsent liquid.  We got back at 3:30, had cookies and yogurt, napped/read, then walked down to the Marina to watch the sunset. Can some one please remind me next Valentines day do something less romantic if I'm still single? PDA is mandatory in this country, it makes you feel so lonely. Anyway, Saturday night we took a 4 minute train ride to Vernazza walked around for five minutes, realized everything was closed, and sat in a park for the next hour waiting for a train back.

 Sunday morning we checked out, left our luggage in the lobby, and went for our last hike. We took a train to Monterosso, walked around a bit and started a hike to the next town over, Levanto, and quickly realized it was way too hard. We changed our plans and decided to instead take a train to Levanto and hike to Monterosso. When we got off the train we had to walk for about a half hour through the town until we found the trail. For a while I thought it was just as hard as the first one, but after 2 hours when we reached Monterosso and went down the way we had originally started I got on my knees and thanked Gd we had turned around. it was incredibly steep rocks/stairs/hill for at least half a mile, it would have been the end of me. This hike is the one highlighted all the way on the right. It was by far the longest and hardest of the hikes and didn't have the nicest view but it was still so much fun. When we got to the bottom we sat at the beach for an hour then got back on the train, picked up our stuff from Manarola and headed back to Florence. 

After the stress of moving and readjusting to this new craphole hotel this weekend was exactly what I needed. It was the most gorgeous place I have ever seen and the weather was amazing. All my freckles came out and my cheeks even got a little burnt. I can't even tell you the last time I saw sun here in Florence. It was so quiet and birds were chirping and the people were so friendly. Get out your pens and add Cinque Terre to your bucket list pronto mi amice.

Hotel We-Got-Screwed

Heyy,

This morning Laura Schnee, Ilana, and I went to the designer outlets for retail therapy before the big move. It was a lot like woodbury commons, including the prices,  so we left empty handed. When we got back we finished packing and then two at a time went with the moving van to our new accommodations. At first when we got to the piazza I was so excited  because it's really such an amazing area. The second I walked in my mood immediately changed. The place is about a third the size of just my bedroom in Piazza D'Azeglio. Every one has their own individual rooms with one or 2 roommates, and are all on the second floor except for my room and the single, so I have a feeling its going to be so lonely compared to how open and connected our other place was. Plus it smelled faintly of Old Lady. It's going to take getting used to.

Raid of the Castle

Alana blogging in the middle of the day?? There must be big news. Indeed there is. We recieved this email a few hours ago:

Dear Piazza D'Azeglio Residents,

We hope that you’re having a good semester with us thus far.  Unfortunately, we have some urgent news about your living situation.  We were notified last Friday that the managing agent of your residence is involved in a serious legal dispute with the owner of the building.  Through our attorneys, we immediately attempted to intervene with the owner to establish a contract directly with him for the remainder of the semester.  We were led to believe that the owner would agree to work with us, but to our surprise and dismay, he has not responded.  Because of the uncertainty of the situation, which is entirely out of our control, we think it advisable to move you to another residence.  We have arranged for other housing for you and will do everything we can to ensure that this unforeseen move will present as little inconvenience to you as possible.  We intend to complete this move on Sunday, February 8, 2009.   

As of Sunday I'm moving into a hotel for the rest of the semester.

Ciao

Amor romA

I had the most amazing time in Rome. Laura, Abe, and I got up really early Friday morning and took the 7:40 train from Florence and arrived in Rome at around 9:40. From the train we took the subway to the kosher bed and breakfast we were staying at. I think that graffitti may be legal here because it's literally everywhere including all over the outside of the subway cars (I'm not sure how they managed that) but it gave it a really cool look, much different from home. The bed and breakfast was in an apartment building and it may have only had three rooms, but it was really nice and comfortable. After we settled down we went down the block to the kosher bakery and had lunch and then walked around the area for a little and found the two shuls near by. From there we took the metro again down to the Vatican. We went to the museum there and saw a lot of Catholic artifacts we didn't really understand and saw the Sistine Chapel which was stunning. Photography wasn't allowed but I managed to take a couple before a guard came over and yelled at us, I'll post it on facebook. After the Vatican we went back to the bed and breakfast to get ready for Shabbos. Laura arranged for us to eat with a Bnei Akiva shabbaton meant to encourage people to study in Israel for the year. (There are five years of high school here so the people were 18 and 19). After shul we had an ice breaker where we had to say our name, age, favorite ice cream, and favorite movie. Some people said it in Italian and some in Hebrew. Since I'm terrible at both I just copied the girl before me only I changed the name and said my favorite movie is Slumdog Millionaire and they all stared at me like I was crazy so I changed it to Twilight (which I've never seen) to fit in. Three of the girls were Roman and they were the nicest and friendliest of the bunch. Then there were two Roman boys, and I think four Milan girls and a Milan boy who was also really sweet. One of the Milan girls actually went to Seneca and said she knows Ali Bernstein which was cool. After, there was a session where the Rabbi (who spoke only in Hebrew and the shaliach's wife translated into Italian) spread out different pictures of Israel and we all had to choose one and say how it depicts our personal connection to Israel. Laura quickly jumped in and grabbed a photo of the gay pride parade before realizing what it was. I said my piece in English expecting the girl who went to Seneca to translate, but apparently they all learned English in school and understood what I was saying. After the session we had a huge delicious dinner and then the Italians had another session and we left. At one point during dinner one of the boys tapped me and looked me square in the eye and asked "you sleep with him?" and pointed to the other boy sitting next to him. I looked over and both of them had very curious but very serious looks on their faces. I awkwardly giggled and asked him to repeat what he said, but this time I realized he wasn't pointing at his friend, he was pointing across the table at Laura and he just had his genders confused. The next morning we slept in and went late to shul and caught the end of shacharit. Then there was an enormous kiddush. After we hung out with the Rome girls for a while than had a Huge lunch. After, we went back to the room for an hour and a half before Maariv, but when we came back to shul the Rabbi was still giving a long dvar torah so we just went back to the Rome girl's hotel with Emanuel (the Milan boy) for like twenty minutes. We went back to shul again for havdalah and then left. They all had another session so we didn't really get to say goodbye or get any of their contact info so that was pretty sad. Saturday night we went to the Jewish Ghetto which was so beautiful and had an absolutely incredible dinner and then walked around for a bit. The ghetto is basically a a bunch of high end kosher restaurants and then all of the sudden in the middle there are a bunch of ruins and a commemorative plaque saying that this was the spot that the Roman Jews were rounded up and sent to Auschwitz. Sunday Morning we got up really early and took a guided tour of the Colosseum which was beautiful, then we walked around the Roman Forum which just looked like ruins, we didnt really know what we were looking at most of the time but we did recognize the Arch of Titus. LBK brought a guidebook which was pretty much useless so we had to fend for ourselves. After, we walked back to the ghetto for lunch and got Jumbo burgers, fries, and a coke and i swear it was heavenly. From lunch we walked to the Pantheon, the Trevi Fountain, and climbed the Spanish Steps.

The craziest thing about Rome is how one second you're walking through this crowded urban city and the next thing you know you're standing in front of the Colosseum or something thousands of years old that you've only seen before in textbooks. It was really such a meaningful amazing trip, I hope to make it back there before I leave.

Quickie

1. My sexy smart funny gay Politics teacher isn't gay 

2. I stepped in poop again

3. I'm leaving for Rome tomorrow morning so I won't post again until Sunday night or Monday so

4. Have a Good Shobbas

Love

Today I met a boy. 

I was in the office for student life handing in a form about volunteering and he was standing at the desk looking very confused. So I ask him "is everything okay" and he says "yes, why do you ask" and I say "You have a very confused look on your face". At this point he explained that he was trying to read through the flyer on the window but it was facing outside so everything was backwards and reading backwards is very difficult for him. Then he asked me why I was in the office, and I told him to set up an appointment to talk about volunteer work. When he asked me where I was volunteering I told him I'll tell him February 4th after the meeting.

Then he asked me what would happen if February 4th never happened. How strange it is that we know beyond doubt that February 4th will happen. But not really beyond doubt because the world could end. I told him its possible to have February 4th not occur but i hear suicide is painful. He rebutted that if he were to kill himself February 4th would still go on, making the only solution to kill the world, and the easiest way to do so would probably be to kill the president. But even if he was able to assassinate President Obama the secret service would most likely not let him push the big red button. Plus he only has a week.

30 boys, i already met 3 gay ones and 1 that talks to himself. The numbers are dwindling fast my friends.

typical day

heyy

Today I photoshopped my pics for Urban Architecture and Photography then went to campus for Italian where we learned this little ditty. I'll most likely be singing it in my head for weeks. When I got back Laura and I went to the supermarket where I purchased these slippers: 

as well as apples, bananas, crackers, garbage bags and milk.

Fail

This shobbas was pretty much exactly like the first one. We went to shul then Chabad for dinner and lunch. Then Saturday night we drank a little here and after went to a bar around the corner, Rex. It was still a little early and it was a much older Italian crowd, plus there were too many of us to get a table. We just hoovered around the back taking pictures until after about twenty minutes we leave to go to The Lions Den, an American bar. It was pretty much the same sitch so we took pictures and just went home still tipsy off the pregaming. a little sad, no? Fail numbers one and two. 

Today the school subsidized a day trip to Lucca but I didn't sign up in time and got closed out (Fail 0.5 because we had to sign up by last Friday, way before the weekend of fails.) So today I woke up late and decided to go see the Ponte Vecchio. Any one who knows me knows that I can hardly get around Teaneck and am completely directionally retarded. Having this in mind I tracked out a way to get there via googlemaps and highlighted it on my pocket map that I carry with me every where. It started off great but then I got SO lost and when I'd finally locate myself on the map I have this unique talent of ALWAYS walking in the opposite direction that I should be. (Like the time I was supposed to meet Simon for dinner at second avenue deli and called him an hour and a half later because I hit the East River and realized I was most likely walking in the wrong direction). The glass-half-empty type may consider this fail number three but as I said I'm really used to being lost and it was an abnormally beautiful day outside, I was in no rush, made it there eventually, and it was lovely. On the walk back I decided to not even try and use my map and just walked. Over the course of my adventure I walked through the chocolate fair at Santa Croce:

Piazza della Signora

A guy playing guitar, the high end shopping in Piazza della Repubblica, walked around the Uffizi museum, saw where Dante lived, and walked along the arno to the Ponte Vecchio.

When I got back with my renewed sense of independence and confidence I decided to tackle the laundry. We've been having trouble with the machine but on shobbas a guy came and showed us how to use it and it seemed simple enough. I put a few pairs of underwear and two pairs of jeans in, poured in the detergent and pressed start. It started making all the noises a working washing machine makes but nothing was happening. I figured its just different in Italy and walked away. An hour later it's making the same noises but its not spinning and there's no water. I stopped it but the door to the machine was locked so I couldn't take out my clothes. Enter fail three. 

A little later my suitemates come back and she tells me I put too much stuff in and I should take some out and try again. Same story. Fail four. 

Then Shayna tells me I should just wash it by hand because it's not good to have detergent just sitting on your clothing for this long.  I realize she's right and start hand washing all my clothes in the nasty laundry room sink. Everything was already stained. Fail Five.

As I was washing my jeans I realized my bus ticket was in the back pocket and that G-d works in mysterious ways. With the discovery of the ticket I realize that fails 3 through 5 were just so I can have one large success. Soon after I lost the ticket.

Origins of SoreOozer

Contrary to popular opinion I did not name my blog after a medical condition or symptom of a sexually transmitted illness. Nor did I realize that it can easily be misheard as ShortLoser.blogspot.com; an equally unflattering title. Since there is nothing eventful to report today I'm going share with you the origins of Sore Oozer.

The first Friday of the new year a bunch of us were playing Bananagrams in Yonaton's living room. Max had peeled and after reviewing his board we came to the consensus that "oozer" was not a valid word, causing Max to lose the game and be a Rotten Banana. To be spared the obvious humiliation that comes with such a title Max threw the tiniest of hissy fits. Amidst the tantrum Jessica Raab quietly said "come on Max, don't be a sore oozer". And it was funny.

It was a fateful night

Shabbat Shalom

It's just not sanitary.

Today I stepped in dog poop and smelled the rest of the day. This country has rules for Everything. National quite hours passed 11, no public drunkenness, can't buy knock offs, can't have the heat over 68 degrees, we couldn't know who our roommates were before moving in because of privacy laws and I couldn't pick up my Italian cell phone in America because of anti-terrorism laws, but people don't need to pick up their dog's poop off the street. When it rains here which is every single day the streets REAK of poop and pee. In new york when I see puddles I know it's probably pee but tell myself its the air-conditioner leaking. I like that. I'm comfortable with it. No one has air conditioners here. 

My first complaint.

pics

Thought I'd share some of my fave pics from the bus tour Sunday:

         The Duomo

  The Arno River

The Trainer from Free Willy is on House

Heyyyo

Today was numero due (Doo-Ay) of classes. I had Architecture and Urban Photography this morning which met in some small photography studio in the center of the city and the professor seems really nice. He invited the class to an art gallery opening but idk if I'll end up going because it's Friday night and I don't want to walk around here alone at night. Then I had Italian which wasn't too fun (but i did learn numbers which came in handy for my brilliant opening sentence.) After, I had my Topics in Modern Society-- my last core class-- it's mandatory and on a topic I'm not at all interested in but my professor is hysterical. He's this young gay guy who came in wearing tight jeans a black and white checkered shirt with a black vest over it and an obvious spray on tan. I was actually dying of laughter the entire class he'd randomly break into stand up comedy routines. When we were going over the syllabus he says "The behavior policy can be summed up as Dont Be a Douche Bag. I need all the attention I'm the youngest child of four and I guess my mom wiped my ass wrong". Just not what I'd expect to come out of a professors mouth. After class there was a huge inauguration party with big screens put up in a few buildings on campus it was really fun, super touching. Then I went to dinner with the Laura's and now I'm watching House. Later Gator.

Shobbas

Hey, 

So this was my first Shobbas here in Firenze. Friday night we went to the shul which was amazing I've never really seen anything like it. They had exactly a minyan and about eighteen women (we were ten of them). I think they said less prayers but everything except shmoneh esrei is said outloud so it was a pretty long service. After shul we went to Chabad down the block which actually wasn't too fun. I sat next to their eleven year old son who, when after the bowl of croutons was passed around, proceeded to stick is spoon in the bowl and eat it. After he was full he poured it on the table and just kept scooping it up and sprinkling it around. When he got bored of that he started grinding them under his fingernails and scraping it out with his teeth. The grand finale consisted of a Crouton Man (wearing a large hat I'd have to assume is black...) Then we came back home and played banagrams and just hung out for a while. Today I slept in and went back to Chabad for lunch. I met a girl there who moved to Florence from LA a few months ago and she was pretty interesting. I also learned that they use pig fat in just about everything here including bread and gelato so there goes carefree eating out. Tonight I'm going out for the first time here so stay tuned. Bueno Suerte mi amici

Took a While BUT

Here's the video of my apartment

Hey,

I took a video tour of my apartment and its been uploading for about 17 hours by now but I'm not ready to give it up yet. This whole week we had orientation sessions on campus so I haven't really had too much time to explore. Yesterday though I was determined to pick up my cell phone and exchange my dollars for euros so Schneebaum, Mara, some other girl and I walked from campus to the center of Florence which must have been an hour and a half walk. When we finally got to the center we saw this small building with a dome on top and figured it was the Duomo and started staring and taking pictures. Mara and Laura seemed to be hiding disappointment at it's size and beauty and kept looking for something majestic about it. Turns out we were a block from the Duomo and were actually looking at the Medici family tomb. I went back to the center this afternoon and was actually awestruck by the real Duomo. It's enormous and gorgeous is hard not to just stop and gawk but we've been told multiple times at the orientation sessions that the pick pocketers LOVE the gawkers so we kept walking. 

Have a great shobbas!

Hey SoreOozer fans!! I got to Florence yesterday afternoon, after 7 hours of traveling.. not too fun. It was a group flight though so I met a lot people who all seem very nice. out of the 400 people in the program I'm pretty sure than only 25 of them are male. My apartment is drop dead gorgeous, expect an uploaded virtual tour in the future. There are 14 girls living there so far we get along great. I'm waiting for people to stop being nice and start being real. We don't have internet set up yet so I won't be able to post until that gets settled (I'm in a computer lab right now). It's cold and rainy but so beautiful here. Miss you all!!! Ciao

I find the adult content warning at the beginning funny. Let me know if it gets annoying. Arrivederci!